Welcome

You are probably here because you clicked on a Comment I left on another blog.

Or perhaps a web search, most likely involving the terms "chastity", "orgasm denial", "male chastity" or "chastity device", pointed you here.

Welcome.

I don't use this blog, at least, not with any regularity. But despair not!
This is pretty much just a mirror for the anecdotes and fiction that I've posted on my main blog.

For more details and links to various blogs and resources on sexuality, intimacy and relationships, and of course, the hot chastity porn, please click the link to: The Edge of Vanilla

Time and Punishment: Some dynamics of male chastity in marriage

I often get emails from people asking whether or not Mrs. Edge and I have a chastity contract, or some kind of agreement as to how long I will be locked up. And often, they seem surprised when I explain that we don’t. That’s because we, um… we just don’t. We don’t have a contract, nor do we use games of chance, dice rolls, random numbers, or a dartboard, or even some kind of point system. Yes, I suppose this makes us boring and unimaginative, but that’s how we roll.

Partly, we can’t be bothered with rolling dice, or keeping track of days, or doing all the accounting with the points and demerits that some people like to use. Sure, if it makes denial fun for them, then that’s great. For us, it’s just a hassle. We’ve got enough things to keep track of. I mean, I can barely remember to get to the bank and the dry cleaner on the weekend.

But mainly, we don’t have a contract because Mrs. Edge thinks that if we’re going to play with this, then  it should be totally up to her. Enforced chastity is a power exchange; Mrs. Edge thinks that a contract, or a dice toss, or a lotto pick takes the power away from her. Even a point system creates an obligation on her part, should I reach a particular goal. “Hey, I’ll have 100 points after I wash your car; that means you’ll have to let me out tonight!” My point is when we decided to explore this, the thing that made it hot for both of us was to give her 100% of the decision making power. I never know when she will allow me out, or allow an orgasm if she does. It might be a couple of weeks, a month, or several months. But it’s up to her, and that’s how we like it.

Read the rest of the story at The Edge of Vanilla on Wordpress.

Ahead of Time

“You’re going to be locked up for a long time,” she said casually.

She was laying against my side, her fingernails tracing lines up my thighs, stomach, and chest. We had just made love, and were basking in the afterglow. Well, at least she was basking; I hadn’t come — nor had I for the past couple of weeks — and was still aroused.

“I know you don’t like to know ahead of time when I’m going to let you out, but I just wanted  you know that it’s going to be, well, a long time.  We haven’t played at a really long term in a while, and I was thinking that I wanted to try it again.”

I failed to suppress a whimper, and she looked up at me. “I hope you’re not complaining,” she admonished. “I mean, I unlocked you at the end of the summer, and you spent all autumn free as a bird. Winter’s almost half over;  in fact. I can’t remember when you’ve had so much free time.”

It was true; I’d been unlocked for months, but it wasn’t exactly a Roman orgy around here.

“Yeah, but what with both of us getting the flu, plus the holidays, work, and all that, we barely had any sex at all, so it’s not like I’ve been running wild,” I explained. “I mean, for a couple of months, we even thought there was something in our water, since we just couldn’t get excited.”

She shrugged, and lay her head back down on my chest. “Anyway, since I’m going to lock you up tonight,  I wanted to spend some quality time with you; it’s going to be the last time that your cock is going to be free for quite a while, and I had to get enough of it to keep me motivated.”

I whimpered again. Despite not having as much sex as I would have liked, I had certainly gotten used to touching myself whenever I felt like it, and feeling her warm ass as we lay spooning, and of course, being allowed to come pretty much every time we did have sex — as infrequently as it had been. And although we keep talking about long term denial as a fantasy — a really hot fantasy for both of us — the fact is that it’s been quite a while since we played at that, and I wasn’t totally looking forward to actually doing it. Sure, I knew it was only a matter of time before she wanted me back in the chastity device, but as the weeks seemed to slip by, I just fell out of the groove.

Until tonight. . .

Read the rest of the story at The Edge of Vanilla on Wordpress. 

53 Days

"So, how many days has it been, now?"

I brushed away a fine hair that had been tickling my nose and thought for a moment. "Fifty three days so far," I answered. She had one leg over my shoulder, and I planted several small kisses along her warm thigh, my other hand idly caressing her belly and waist.

I felt her hesitation.

"I, uh, have some bad news," she said after pausing for a few seconds. "I have to go to Kansas again."

"Oh, dammit. Don't even tell me. . ."

"Yeah, it's going to be late next week," she replied, almost sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I just didn't have any control over when Marketing was going to ask for new staff training."

I knew that there was nobody else available to go, but I was still disappointed. "You know, you promised only sixty days this time," I said reproachfully, hoping to rub in a little guilt. "By the time the weekend rolls around it's going to be sixty four days."

"Oh, come on," she replied, "that's only five percent extra. After two whole months, what's another half a week?"

"Yeah, well, I don't see you not coming for two months. Let's see how you'd react if I told you you'd have to go for four days, let alone sixty four."

She disentangled herself to get off of the bed and pad toward the bathroom. "Maybe I could mail you the key at the beginning of the week."

I snorted, "Yeah, right. And have it get lost like that other time? No, thanks."

The sound of water tinkled around the door. "Hey, maybe you could leave it with somebody," I called out. "Preferably somebody cute, kinky, or both."

"You son of a bitch," she sputtered, "you'd love that, wouldn't you?" Walking back into the room she threw a towel at me. "I think you're missing the point of having your cock locked up."

"Yeah, somebody cute and kinky," I mused aloud. "How about that cute blonde that works with you. You know, with the big rack. What's her name. . . Chris?"

I didn't hear my wife's answer because she was beating me over the head with a pillow. All I was able to make out sounded like, "You bastard! I'll get you for that!"

The conversation seemed to go downhill after that.

Back in the saddle again

Well, not exactly in the saddle. We're not into pony play.

Yet.

I'm back into something else, though. Wanna see?

A little bit ago I wrote that the whole frenum piercing thing just didn't work out well with regard to using it with the CB3000. The barbell often pinched my skin in the cage, especially when I got aroused, and the lack of room made it difficult to keep clean, resulting in several infections during the year. I could never wear it for more than a couple of days at a time, which didn't sit well with the increasingly kinky Mrs. Edge, who over the last couple of years developed a fetish for longer (much longer) periods of orgasm denial.

For me, that is.

Anyway, a couple of months ago I removed the piercing and let the hole close up. That it did so with something approaching the speed of a nano-black hole was also annoying. However, there doesn't seem to be any permanent scarring, and all's well that ends well, right?

Knowing that Mrs. Edge was going on a short business trip this week, it was motivation for me to dig out theCB3K and fix some minor things so she could have something to think about while being away. These devices have ventilation holes at the top and bottom; unfortunately, the top holes allowed my skin to swell out rather painfully, so I had filled them in with epoxy. The epoxy yellowed and became loose, so I replace it with tiny bars of acrylic that I shaped and super-glued over the holes. It keeps the skin from swelling through, but allows some air flow and water for cleaning.

Yeah, it's gear-head talk, but chastity is not an exact science.

I put it on on Friday morning, and ended up wearing it all through the weekend. Family, work, and other obligations kept us from enjoying any intimate time, although we did manage about 10 minutes to look at the new CB6000 model online. It looked that she was going to head off to the mid-west without our getting an opportunity for sex, but Monday night we both managed to get to bed at about the same time. While she was in the bathroom, I donned my strap-on harness and warmed up her favorite dildo (which she calls my "other cock"), and lay in bed waiting.

She crawled in, and after a few minutes started moving her hands around. She felt my other cock and said "But what if I didn't want this one? What if I wanted your real one?"

"That's fine with me," I told her, "in fact, even better, since I haven't come since last week. I was just warming the other one up so you could have the option."

We began to make out a bit, and then a bit more, which was nice because for the last few months it seems like we've only had time for quickies. A short while later I was lying on top of her, my other cock pressing against her mound and my cage pressing against her ass cheeks. She indicated that she would like some lube, and I reached into the bedside drawer for the heavier stuff that I use for my other cock. My other cock is very lifelike, but the thinner lubes sometimes aren't enough lubricity to last and will sometimes leave her a little bit chafed.

We settled into her favorite position: missionary, with my hips pressed tightly against hers, angled slightly upwards to allow the curve of my other cock to massage her sensitive spot inside. I have learned to enjoy this position myself, because when I'm not focused on the six inches of sensitive meat, the rest of my body needs some extra sensation. I continued to kiss her while maintaining long, slow stokes, and it wasn't long before I felt her legs tighten around mine and felt her arch her back slightly. Obviously the idea of me back in the cage warmed her up pretty quickly.

She smiled mischievously. "That damn piercing," she complained, "wasted a whole fucking year on that."

I felt badly about this, and told her so. I mean, it was my idea, after all.

She indicated that I should shut up and to keep fucking her.

A few minutes later, she came again, a little harder than previously. She opened her eyes and told me "You know, I should really make you pay for that mistake. Do you realize I'd almost forgotten about this?" I smiled.

"Pay?" I asked, "Like, deny me for a while?"

"Yes," she replied as I continued my slow thrusting, "like, a long while." Her breathing grew deeper and faster.

"It was over a year that I tried to make it work," I reminded her, "maybe you need to make up for lost time with me. Would you make me pay for a whole year?"

She closed her eyes tightly and nodded. A few short moment later her long nails were digging sharply into my ass and she was pressing her hips up to meet mine. A short moan, and suddenly the look of intense concentration on her face turned into a relaxed grin. She opened her eyes and smiled at me.

A quick, mini-fantasy had just played itself out in her head. I wouldn't mind, but I'm convinced that she has stronger orgasms when she thinks about keeping me locked in for longer periods. I checked this morning, my ass still has scratch marks. "I really was going to unlock you, but now I think I'm going to make you wait until I get back."

"But... but..."

"It's really because you do such a good job with your other cock, you know." She tweaked my nipple and laid back. "It's late, and I think I'm done for the night."

I asked her if she wouldn't mind sitting astride me for a couple of minutes. I love this position because I enjoy seeing her body - even more now that all the exercising has given her a nicer shape. She complained a little, but pushed me over and slowly lowered herself onto me. My cage was pressing against her ass, and I could feel her warmth through the plastic.

We talked for a few moments, she asked me "If I took off the cage and told you that you had only two minutes to come, could you do it?" I nodded. "Two whole minutes? Sure thing."

"Well, how about one minute?"

"Umm, yeah, I think so," I replied, not liking where this was headed.

"What if I took it off and said 'You've got twenty seconds to come, and then the cage is going back on'?"

"Oh, that's totally unfair," I protested, still aware of her weight on my hips, "I train myself so hard to not come quickly, and then you try to sabotage that by telling me it's the only way I'd get to come?"

She laughed softly, and rocked her hips back and forth.

"You know," I confessed, "I sometimes do have fantasies about you teasing me for a long time, stroking me, keeping me right on the edge..." "Yeah?" she asked, her eyes closed, concentrating.

"And then, right at the very end, just when I'm about to come really hard..."

She closed her eyes and leaned forward slightly as I moved my hands from her breasts to her shoulders, and down to her waist.

"... you suddenly stop touching me as I come, just letting it spill out, ruining it."

She tensed briefly, frowning in concentration, and I pulled her hips down to meet my own. She let out a breath, sighing, and her body relaxed. She leaned forward to lay against my chest. No question that she was now really done for the night.

"You don't mind waiting until I get back, do you?" she asked, sleepily.

"No, I'm good. I thought I'd be begging to come, but I'm actually feeling pretty satisfied right now," I assured her. "Thank you for getting on top for that last bit, I really enjoy looking at you." And truthfully, being able to spend some time close both physically and emotionally really did make me satisfied.

She whispered a goodnight and turned on her side. I got up to remove and clean my cock, and to apply some lube to help me sleep through the night. A few minutes later I was back under the warm covers, spooning against her back.

In the morning, just before she left she noticed me rummaging through the kitchen junk drawer, looking for some masking tape.

"What do you need that for?" she asked. In response, I handed her a pen. She watched as I removed the emergency key to the lock from my keyring and wrapped the tape around it. I gave it to her, and she signed the tape, knowing that if I tried to remove it in order to unlock myself I'd rip the tape and destroy the seal. She dated one side and, displaying some good humor, drew a couple of little hearts on the other side. She took her own key and put it in her purse.

You can see my jumble of keys with the picture of the taped key. Clicking the above picture will bring you to an album with pictures of me wearing it. NOT SAFE FOR WORK or in the same room with younger family members.The camera adds ten pounds, of course, but anyone who's seen my pics from last year can see that I've toned up quite a bit since then.

And even though she said something about "waiting until next week," I have no idea if she really means it. At this point, I don't know when she'll next let me out.

Not the Usual Anniversary Present - 6

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Week 14: I became somewhat resigned to our arrangement.

The rest of the week passed by without comment. She got her nightly back rub, and I was still horny most of the time, and it was well into our third month since my "birthday present", or "our arrangement" as she sometimes called it. Since her day off came at different times in the week, I might go anywhere from five to nine days. Over a month ago she had stopped unlocking me for night sessions, saying that she preferred to have me inside her when she was awake and rested. Her next day off finally arrived, and I was looking forward to some good, long fucking. I was so excited that I figured I’d be able to come twice. She handed me the key and I hopped into the shower. She kissed me and told me not to take too long, as she was going to have a little surprise for me. The soap lather helped to ease the cage off, and I quickly finished shaving, dried off, and stepped back into the bedroom.

My wife was laying there in a black outfit, holding a pair of leather handcuffs. "Come on down," she teased, "I have a little surprise for you."

Although she has talked about handcuffing me during lovemaking, she hasn’t actually done it since we were dating. I lied down on the bed, and she climbed on top of me, kissing me deeply. "You’ve been such a good boy that I thought that I’d give you a little treat." She had me roll over and fastened the cuffs securely behind my back. Rolling me onto my back again, she took my cock into her mouth. "Mmm… big, isn’t it?"

I couldn’t answer, I was too busy enjoying myself. For over three months I had pleasured her in every way imaginable, and my reward was to be kept locked up. Now it looked as if I was going to get some attention for a change. She swung her legs around and settled onto me in a sixty-nine position. I hungrily lapped at her sweet, salty juices, relishing the feel of her soft thighs around my head. She ground her hips down onto my face, almost smothering me, as she came.

"No, don’t stop," she whispered, and pausing only to take a breath I went back to softly flicking my tongue over her swollen lips. This was one of those nine day periods, and she had rubbed it in by having me give her extended massages almost every night, and a few nights she made me follow up by licking her to a nice, slow orgasm. Not surprisingly, I was ready to come almost immediately. Her own tongue was licking the head of my cock, and I fought hard to keep myself under control. I concentrated on making her come before I could, since without the use of my hands, I was unable to push her away.

She was making herself excited by sucking hard on my cock, drawing all the blood to the already swollen head. My cock soon felt as hard as a steel rod. Thankfully, she paused to let out a moan. Her head dropped to rest on my leg, but her hand tightened around my sore balls as she came loudly. I stopped licking directly on her lips, and kissed and caressed her upper thighs with my own lips and tongue. She lay there for a few moments before getting up.

"Very nice," she complimented me, “we never do it that way anymore."

She swung her leg over my hips and teased my cock with her pussy. I was already gasping from holding back my own climax, and didn’t know if I wanted to push it in or wait. Sensing my distress she smiled “Poor honey. You want to come so bad, don’t you?"

Eyes closed in concentration, I could only nod.

"You’re trying so hard to hold back, maybe I shouldn’t let you come at all. Is that what you want?"

My eyes snapped open. "No! No, I want to come, really," I managed to croak out, “ I just want it to last a little longer. It’s been so long, and I want it to feel good."

"Hmm, so it doesn’t feel good other times?" she asked in mock hurt.

"No! Yes! Um, it always feels good… Oooooohhhhhhh…" I moaned as she slowly lowered herself onto my hot shaft.

"Isn’t this good?" she asked again, rocking on my hips. She reached back to squeeze my balls. "Mmm, got something in here for me?"

I could only moan. “Please, please, no, yes, oh please…" I lost all sense as a huge, unstoppable climax began to build. I could feel the pressure in my balls, in my cock, and deep inside my groin. I opened my eyes briefly to look longingly at her, and heard myself moaning. Suddenly what seemed like a gallon of hot come pulsed deep into her pussy as my hips pushed up off of the bed. Finally I collapsed, my cock now spent inside her, the pressure in my balls released. I opened my eyes again. "That was incredible," I told her, "I think my throat is dry from moaning so much."

Still smiling down at me, she said, "I didn’t give you permission to come. You’re so selfish, you couldn’t at least wait until I was satisfied? After all, I had to wait more than a week for this, you know." Using her fingers to hold her swollen pussy lips together, she slowly raised herself off my now-soft cock, and moved up to position herself over my mouth. "I think that you need to eat me until I’ve had enough," she said, holding her dripping pussy over my mouth, "besides, weren’t you just saying that you had a dry throat? I’ll bet that there’s a real lot of juice for you in here."

I don’t remember when it started, but for some weeks now, she had decided that any time that I came in her, that I was to suck out the juices and to clean her with my tongue. She claimed that I was much better than using a towel, and the best part was that she didn’t have to get out of bed. Admittedly, I did get some small pleasure from making her come that way. Unfortunately, she sometimes didn’t care about coming, and merely used me, which made me feel a little humiliated. It was useless to resist with my hands still handcuffed, so I reluctantly opened my mouth and licked her. I almost gagged on the amount of hot, salty come that dripped from her pussy, but didn’t dare stop sucking on her until she had came, shuddering.

"Okay, now it’s my turn to lie down," she said. She pushed me off the bed, told me to kneel at the edge. She then lay back on some pillows and placed her legs over my shoulders, pulling my head into her still-dripping mound. "Mmm, too bad your hands are still tied, or else you could be fucking me, too." I just mumbled in agreement and slowly pleasured her with my mouth and tongue. In no time she came again, and I rested my head on her thigh.

"If you undo these cuffs, I could rub you, or use the dildo on you, or even give you a little massage," I suggested.

This sounded like a good idea to her, and a few minutes later she was stretched out on the bed and I was kissing her deeply, my hand slowly pumping the familiar red dong. I climbed on top of her to give her some body contact, and found myself getting hard again listening to her moans of pleasure. I teased her with the dildo, keeping her right on the edge of coming, and when I could feel myself harden all the way, I slipped between her legs to give her some of the real thing. She responded by arching her hips to meet mine. I angled myself to push at her pubic bone and she grabbed my hips. She was going to have a nice one, I thought, so I pumped her deeply, making sure that she felt the full length of my shaft inside her. Her hips stiffened and I felt her bite my shoulder hard. I continued my pace, and she came twice more before finally settling down to the bed. I kissed her lightly until she caught her breath.

I motioned her to roll over on her stomach, and entered her from behind.

"Ooh, you never do me this way anymore," she murmured.

"When do I have the chance?" I asked her, pushing my hips deeply. Her pussy was still hot, and soon I felt another orgasm building. I pulled her back onto her side, and entered her roughly. She closed her eyes and gripped my hand tightly. I let her come once, and then I increased my own tempo. The feel of my balls dragging on her warm thighs, and her soft ass pressing into my groin was enough to again send me over the edge. Although not as intense as the first one, I came hard, letting out a short yell. I collapsed on top of her, my legs still shaking.

I kissed her back and neck. "Mmm, just like the old days, eh?" I said.

In response she reached for the cock cage on the nightstand and handed it to me. "No, it’s better than the old days," she replied, “wouldn’t you agree?"

I started to protest, saying that she had just gotten some wonderful sex, and that I was happy to have gotten to come twice. She replied that making me wait was what made it seem more wonderful, and besides, I should consider myself lucky that she let me come a second time. "After all, you barely lasted two minutes for the first one. You must have forgotten that you’re supposed to be pleasing me, not the other way around."

And once again she helped to squeeze my cock into the chastity cage, closed the stainless steel ring around my balls and clicked the lock shut.

"Oh, I almost forgot," she mentioned, "I just felt a few drips down my leg. Would you clean me up, please?"

to be continued...

Not the Usual Anniversary Present - 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Week 11: This was a decidedly bad turn of events.

During the rest of the week, she made sure that I did something for her every single night. I was sure it was her way of reminding me that she had to do without, although I kept reminding her that she seemed to get a lot more pleasure out of “doing without" than I did. She kept reminding me that this whole arrangement was my idea to begin with, and the least I could do was to accept my birthday present with a smile. In the meantime, she would have to force herself to have weekly pedicures, back rubs, massages, and a few sessions taking pleasure from my tongue.

Finally, her day off came. I was almost frantic from more than two weeks without coming. We both jumped into the shower, and I gladly washed her back by soaping my hairy chest and rubbing against her back. She was soon ready to get out, but I told her that I needed to stay in a bit longer. I was afraid of coming too fast, and I needed some time to settle down. It was only then that I realized that she had not given me the key before my shower.

The shower helped to ease the soreness in my groin, and I walked to the bedroom. To my surprise, I saw her already in bed, eyes closed and smiling broadly. A glance further down told me she was fucking herself with the dildo. I watched her hand moving it in and out; it was as if she wasn’t even aware that I was staring at her. I felt a twinge of jealousy at the rubber dong, but kept staring as she slowly brought herself to orgasm. She opened her eyes, not surprised to see me there. I climbed into bed and held her. Sensing what I was about to ask, she put her finger over my lips. I rolled on top of her, kissing her hungrily, my hands touching, groping everywhere. I rubbed her pussy with my fingers and felt her slippery and warm. As usual, she pushed my head down to her mound. Handing me the dildo, she leaned back again to have me lick her expertly while I pressed the dildo inside of her. She was very excited, and began to moan loudly. Her hands grabbed my hair and pulled hard, I had to pull back in order to catch my breath. Within moments she tightened her legs around me and squeezed. She came strongly, and almost immediately came again. I kept licking until I could feel her spasms subside. Almost a minute later she sank back into the mattress, seemingly spent.

"What the hell was that all about?" I asked her.

She just shook her head, “ Mmm, I don’t know, I was just feeling horny, I guess." She reached down to feel me. I jumped. “I’ll bet I know what you want," she murmured. “I hope that you’ve learned your lesson about being ready for me when I want you. I don’t want you to disappoint me like that again."

I shook my head, but before I could mention that I was still locked up she pulled me on top of her. “Come on," she said, “I’m really wet. Put it in me. I want to feel it."

Remembering the last time we had done this, I started to pull back. “No," I said, “I don’t want to come like that! I want a good one. Please, unlock me! Please?"

She just chuckled. “I just want to make sure that you learned your lesson. After all, it’s you’re your fault that I had to go without your nice cock last week. You didn’t think you’d get away without some punishment, did you?"

"But it’s not good this way," I complained.

"It’s good for me," she replied, and besides, it’s all you’re going to get this time. Now, do you want to come or don’t you?"

I did of course. I gently pushed myself into her, gasping as her warm pussy closed over the head of my cock that had swelled out of the cage. Now I really was frantic. I wanted to come so badly, since it had been over two weeks. But I wanted to make it last longer, since it would probably be another week before I’d get the chance. But no matter how long it lasted, I couldn’t have a real orgasm while still locked up. The cage kept me from the deep muscle spasms that make it so satisfying.

"What’s the matter," asked my wife, “I thought you would be happy to come after waiting so long." She paused, “but if you want, we could always wait until the next time…"

Groaning with frustration, I pushed as deeply into her as the cage allowed. I barely noticed her stiffening with her own orgasm as mine built so quickly. I moved back and forth a few times and felt a huge contraction start in the root of my cock. As I heard her come, my own spasms started and I suddenly felt my seed just trickling out. No wave of pleasure, no firm contraction from my groin, just a few small spurts and my come merely spilled out of me. I collapsed on top of her and literally sobbed in frustration.

"Didn’t last very long that time, did you?" she asked. She held me for a moment and said, “So, maybe I shouldn’t have let you come if you weren’t going to enjoy it. On the other hand, now you’ll remember how our arrangement works. Am I right?"

I nodded, too frustrated to argue. Feeling used, I allowed her to push my head down to her pussy so she could be satisfied.

"Remember," she reminded me again, “you should always be ready to give me some when I want it." Soon, she lay back in the bed, enjoying her orgasms, and ignoring me.

to be continued...

Not the Usual Birthday Present

It's been a while since I posted a Friday Fantasy, and as I explained earlier, I just haven't had it in me lately to do one. But based on the popularity of the few chastity related posts, I thought that some of you would find this interesting.

I wrote this story some years ago, and posted it on several different web boards. It's been ripped off and re-posted by others - in one case on the same web board. I've made some small edits for grammar and spelling that I'd missed earlier, but the story is the same. And yes, there is a particular Friday Fantasy sub-plot that you will recognize.

For those so inclined, enjoy!

Commentation on My Chastity Story

It's been three weeks since I posted about one of the chastity episodes with my wife. Except for a couple of Yahoo groups, I've never told that story anywhere; I'm amazed that I still feel embarrassed about some of my kinks, even behind the anonymity of the internet, but I'm even more amazed at how interesting other people found it. I've had 1,600 hits on that post alone, and several hundred more on my old Blogger site, and over a dozen comments. Some of you left questions, and I wanted to take the opportunity to address them.

Lady Julia Says: How do you feel about this years later? Are you happy you did it? Do you have any regrets?

This took place about two years ago. Yes, we are both happy that we did this, and it led to some good - and long overdue - discussions between us about sexuality and intimacy. It was good for me to finally begin to express some of the kinkier sides of me that I repressed for the previous decade. And I think it was particularly good for my wife to allow herself some creative sex play, something that she seemed to have given up since we were married. It took me a long time to become convinced that she was enjoying herself, and not simply indulging me.

Aside from the regret that we hadn't done this years earlier, I do regret that we still had not been able to resolve some of our issues with emotional intimacy when this happened. Unfortunately, there were times when it seemed (to me) that keeping me locked up (as we called it) might have been a means for her to avoid intimacy. It really wasn't until last year that we were able to get more of a handle on the real issues. That ties into the part about my wondering if she was merely being indulgent; fortunately, we are now able to address those issues better than we had in the past.

Suzy Says: I’d have to be in the no column as well:)

Understandably so. I want to stress that my wife did not really want this to be a permanent condition; but as we began to explore, just talking about the fantasy became very hot for both of us. It was a good experience overall, though, and it allowed the both of us to examine how reality intersects with fantasy.

Russ Says: Wow… Not sure I could last 48 hours, let alone months.

A few years ago, I would have said the same thing. It's not as if I had always had this fantasy; as I explained later, it just sort of snuck up on me. To give it some perspective, I've often referred to it as "BDSM Lite" - the device became a 24/7 reminder of a change in our relationship. It's kind of like having bondage without the the overt display of collars and other equipment.

Sassy Says: Also sounds like she found her niche. Did you ever think she would come so far from where you were initially?

She did find a niche, and even now she occasionally wants me to wear the harness, even without me being locked up; she really enjoys the idea of me being aroused and frustrated. It gives her a sense of control or ownership that she finds exciting.

I don't know how far I had expected her to come. When we were dating she showed some rather overt dominant traits, which was one of the things that attracted me to her. I was, however, surprised when she admitted that she would like to try this.

diggerjones Says: So when does she apply the soldering iron to the lock to make it permenent?

As I said, we both find this to be a hot fantasy, but neither of us would want this for more than a few weeks months years at a time.

Cat Says: "she confessed that the hottest thing in the world at the moment was knowing that I was caged, frustrated, and aroused just for her." Are you kidding what woman would not find that appealing????

Cat, that's why I like you!
I've been active in several Chastity groups for some years, and I can tell you that according to the men who post, most women partners are horrified, bored, disinterested, or freaked out by the idea. I think that a lot of men approach it in a way that is probably a turn-off for them, but it's apparently not for everyone.

I saved Kimba for last...

kimba Says: Tom..? I have questions..

That's why I'm here.

Don’t you miss the feeling of your wife? Especially against your fren piercing and all?

You missed the part where I said that this happened a couple of years ago. I was describing a series of episodes that started opening up the concepts for us. It's okay; you were probably one of those who skipped the details and went straight to the hot sex part.

I am thinking now of your penis far more than I think I should..

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that one... I'd have a dollar.

I guess this post heightens the more than just physical act of lovemaking.. Damn I am talking around in circles trying to understand the concept..

No, this is actually very insightful. When I put on the harness and make love to my wife, is it sex? Of course it is! Sex isn't just about tubes of meat - it's about the sensual and the emotional, the sights and sounds and feelings all over your body. Hell, it's not even about the orgasm; I have found that the anticipation and arousal are more enjoyable- certainly much longer lasting - than the ten seconds of fireworks. I'm not discounting those ten seconds, of course, but I have long ago learned not to make them the reason for everything that leads up to them.

Back when I was in my early 20s I used to practice yoga. I ran across Tantric and Taoist practices, and learned about the pleasure that can be had by limiting my own physical orgasms, to sublimate them, as it were, into pleasure of another sort. It's not for everybody, admittedly. But over the years I have found that I really enjoy the low-level arousal that stays with me for days at a time.

Fetish Lore

No, this is not about the history of fetishes. I'm just taking a moment to mention that the cottage industry of kink that is otherwise known as Richard - the pansexual polyfetishist - apparently does not had enough to do with the dozen or so blogs and feed aggregates that he manages; so he has just begun a web message board:

Fetish Lore

The board is for the discussion of D/s, BDSM, kink and fetishes. He hopes to have it develop as a low-profile operation for the education of those who are new to the lifestyle, who have questions but might be embarrassed to post at some of the more heavily trafficked groups. There are discussion groups ranging from the psychology and philosophy of D/s, to practical tips on bondage, to chastity and orgasm denial, to... well, you'll just have to see for yourself. I'll be checking in regularly to answer questions on chastity and orgasm denial, and I expect that some other well-known blogsters will be dropping by, as well.

Richard and I have exchanged an email or three over the last couple of years, and I have always found him to be calm, serious, and not disposed to suffering those from the Church of the One True Way lightly. I suspect that there are a number of people who read the various blogs who have questions about these topics that won't be answered on them. Discussion boards can be a great resource for those who are looking for some education and support, and I urge anyone who might be too shy to post on the Comments sections to drop by and check things out.

My own chastity story

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