Wednesday, December 20

Self Enclosure

One of the reasons that I started a blog was to give me a certain sense of enclosure. Not "closure" - the sense of ending things in a way to have some peaceful resolution, but "enclosure" - the act of bringing the various far-flung aspects of one's personality together for more integral functioning. In short, to not have a bazillion little secrets parts, all "compartmentalized" so that nobody gets to know the "real me." I have written on a number of different subjects on a number of different venues that never seem to cross. After several false starts, it was my intention that I'd have a blog that encompasses those various aspects.

Of such things is the road to Hell paved.

I mention this because I've been checking my blog stats. Yes, I have an ego, and when I realized that people were actually reading this blog I started checking the stats a couple of times a day. Want to know something interesting? A very large proportion of people coming to this site do so because they are searching for "orgasm denial" or "chastity" or something similar. Very large. And except for a few posts that I dragged over from my old blog, I haven't really discussed chastity in general or chastity devices at all. At least, not here.

And that's part of my point; I get emails from people all the time, looking for advice on picking out a device (technical stuff is easy) or how to get their partner (usually, but not always female) to go along with it (relationship stuff is not as easy). And in addition to the emails I still post regularly in several different online groups, some of which even seem to appreciate what I have to say. But I never mention chastity or orgasm denial in some of the groups, nor do I let loose with my trademark wit (okay, my bad puns and double entendres) in others. As Samuel Clemens would have said, "Never the Twain shall meet."

So here's an interesting tidbit of self-discovery: Even in the relative anonymity of my little corner of the blog world, I'm embarrassed to admit to having a kink. How stupid is that, anyway? What's even stupider is that I can't even describe why I'm embarrassed. No, wait - yes, I can. It's embarrassing to me because when I try to step back to look at it objectively, it seems like a weird kink to have. I mean, who the hell writes about sex but has a kink which revolves around not having it? On top of that, it involves equipment, which makes it somehow weirder on the kink scale (you know about the kink scale, right? The more equipment involved, then the weirder it must be, because it becomes less "natural").

So, there it is. In the near - the very near - future I'm going to out myself with regard to my kinks. It's not for your benefit, but for mine. In fact, let's consider this to be an early New Year's resolution - I want to bring all those far-flung aspects of me into one enclosure.

8 comments:

  1. indeed a good thinking..

    ReplyDelete
  2. gawd Tom, your one of the most vocal chastity peoples on the net...lol....

    Its no wonder you get found....lol...I think I recognise your writings in so many places...:)

    I must admit your relationship is enviable

    ReplyDelete
  3. gawd Tom, your one of the most vocal chastity peoples on the net.

    I am? Umm...

    I write in maybe four places with any regularity, plus I'm a regular contributor to the various Polyfetishist-owned blogs. So maybe you and I are simply just reading the same stuff.

    But that's part of my point: I write a little in some groups, and nothing in the others to which I belong. I want to start bringing all of that into one area.

    Tom Allen
    The Edge of Vanilla

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tom, do you have trouble determining which aspects of your "self" are more of a priority than others? I mean, don't you need a core set of guiding principles that take precedence over specific interests, kinks, whatever?

    Unless you adhere to the "bento box" philosophy..

    RaptureVision
    Original, Exclusive Video Daily

    ReplyDelete
  5. As a new reader, it seems I have arrived at the right time.

    Destiny

    ReplyDelete
  6. Spyre - I have a "core" Tom that's pretty stable, but I have a lot of little... orbiting planets. No, more like an asteroid belt, comets, a few planets, etc., all out there someplace.

    I'm not trying to be an "in your face" kind of person; I'm just getting tired of not being able to integrate everything I am. Too often I find that I hold back in talking aobut what I want or what I like, even in front of my wife.

    D - I'm not sure if I'm going to be offering up anything Earth-shattering. Certainly (and more's the pity) I'm not going ot have anything as erotic as your videos from last week ;-)

    Tom Allen
    The Edge of Vanilla

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tom, sorry about the plug but we have more of our own Femdom videos, at our site, RaptureVision.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can relate to the "enclosure" concept...
    Although I blog only [semi-]anonymously, I find myself trapped by self-censorship ALL THE DAMN TIME; yet that's one of the reasons I STARTED a blog in the 1st place!?!?

    ReplyDelete